Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes

Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes, but I'll work it out...

Thursday, April 28, 2011

NinetyFive

Get, get, get, get, get over it. Get over it.

If you're going to claim to be over something, then get over it. Stop talking about it. Stop bringing attention to it. Stop making a big deal about it. Just stop. If you keep going back to the same thing over and over again, and keep trying to prove to people that you are-in fact-over it, chances are you're not over it. Listening to the same story on an endless loop is exhausting. Every time we talk I feel like I'm stuck in a more dramatic, and not at all comical, version of Groundhog day. I can only say the same thing so many times, and unfortunately I'm not as much of a fan of your voice as you are.

I'm sick and tired of having to listen to 'Whoa is me' stories from people who feed on attention. It's disgusting. And I am not the person to cry to. I don't care for the dramatics, and I don't respond well to people who are needy. Maybe it's just me. Maybe because I don't spread my business around town I find it hard to understand why anyone else would. Maybe because I don't like too much attention myself, I cant imagine why other people would want to make things up to get extra attention put on themselves. Maybe because I'm normal, I can't understand why other people aren't.

I'm just kidding about that last part. But seriously. I'll never understand why people make up sob stories for attention. What's the point? It's too much work to lie. You have to remember too many things. And if you get caught you get in trouble. It's just not worth it.

Anyway, the point of this entire rant was that I'm done being friends with certain people. And by certain people, I mean you.

"You can spend minutes, hours, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what coud've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on."- Tupac Shakur

Friday, April 1, 2011

NinetyFour.

I have made a decision.

I have decided to take care of myself.

To tend to my needs. To solve my problems. To deal with my issues.

I'm exhausted. Exhausted from listing to people complain about the most insignificant bullshit. I'm tired of dealing with people who are so selfish that even when you're screaming at the top of your lungs, they don't hear you. Tired of people making everything about themselves, even when they know you're suffering.

I'm over people comparing their problems to mine when they have no idea what I'm going through-or what anyone else is going through for that matter. I'm done listening to people that try to convince me that their current drama is more important than anything that could possibly be bothering me. I'm not going to fully be there for people who aren't even partially there for me.

I'm just done.

With that being said, I've decided to be happy. I'm not really a fan of feeling sad and it's not really working for me. I miss being myself and feeling good. Shedding the negativity, and unnecessary negative people around me, will help me find my way back to myself. I'm not sure where or when I got lost, but it's about time I'm found. Of course this wont happen over night, but from now on I'm going to do whatever I have to do to just be me.

From now on I'm going to live my life and I'm going to love my life. With all of the bumps and potholes that come along with it, I'm going to love it. With all of the obstacles and roadblocks that come along with it, I'm going to love it. With all of the ups and downs, the good the bad... I'm going to love it.

All of it.

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes. "