NinetyThree.

Why?

Why does getting what you want never feel as good as you thought it would? Even though you know it's what's right and what's good for you? Even though any other alternative could be potentially hazardous to your health?

Why do things sound better in your head than they do aloud? Why is it that you practice your lines over and over again, and even when they come out perfectly, you feel like you've failed? You feel like you've made a mistake? You feel like a fool?

It doesn't really matter how you feel because it's too late. It shouldn't really matter because, after all, you got what you wanted. And even if it's not what

you expected, it's what you deserved for being selfish.

"They say the universe has a great sense of humor. That

sometimes having your dreams come true can feel like a

nightmare. Because getting what you want always comes

with strings attached... And even when you think you're

finally in the clear, you're never home free."

NinetyTwo.

Oh, Hey Life.

Life is whatever you make it. If your life sucks, well it's probably your own fault. If your life is awesome, chances are it's because you had goals, reached them, and made it that way. You can't expect your life to be some amazing adventure if you don't get up and chase a dream every now and again. After all, how can you have an adventure if you don't get up and get out there? If you're the kind of person who just gives up at the first sign or trouble, or the second something becomes anything but easy, you should reevaluate your life. Eventually, it's time to grow up. You have to become responsible for your actions, responsible for yourself. And if your life is so awful that you can't stand it, change it.

And while you're out there, sowing your wild oats, keep in mind that you don't have a clue about what other people are going through. Do not compare your life to theirs. Do not compare yourself to them. You'll only end up disappointing yourself, and you're probably wrong.

Be kinder than necessary,

for everyone you meet is

fighting some kind of battle.

Live your life. Live it for you. Make yourself happy without worrying about what other people want, need, think, or feel about it. If you spend all of your time worrying about everyone else, you're going to lose the most important thing in your life... yourself.

Carpe Diem!

Rejoice while you are alive.

Enjoy the day.

Live life to the fullest.

Make the most of what you have.

It's later than you think.

- Horace

NinetyOne.

Everyone has a Someone.

I went to dinner with a friend of mine a couple of weeks ago and he said that everyone has one person who they'd do anything for. One person that is worth losing everything to be with. One person that you find yourself going back to again and again, be it literally or figuratively.

[[One person it could never possibly work out with...]]

I disagreed, of course.

I couldn't think of anyone who made me feel like that. I still can't. When I told him, he asked me; "You mean to tell me there's no one out there who, if they came here right now and said let's be together, would make you drop everything and be with them?" That is a whole different question. There are people in my life that I care about. But no, there's no one that's been around a long time that I find myself going back to time and time again. I get bored very easily. I like the chase, but not the reward. When I really want something, I go after it. Once I get it, it becomes whatever.

Once someone comes along and

changes that, changes me, well

then I'll have found my someone.

<3<3

Ninety.

I'm Back.

When I decided to write today, I had plenty of things to talk about. Now that I'm getting around to it, I can't think of anything worth talking about. I hate when that happens... though it's been happening more and more lately. I'm forgetful, my attention span isn't as long as it probably should be, and I get bored easily.

I really hate when people say that. 'It is what it is.' What is what? Can you be more specific?

Anyway, I've had a crappy few days. Really crappy, bring you down, make you feel bad days. Then, I realized no matter what's going on, it can't last forever. Bad days end, anger and pain fade, and once you hit the bottom there's only one way to go. I don't have to be unhappy, and neither do you. When it seems like there's nothing you can do and you feel stuck, look around. Figure out what's making you unhappy, and change it.

I've recently surrounded myself with the most amazing people on the planet [that I've met so far ;) ] and it feels fantastic. I forgot what it was like to have fun. I forgot what it was like to breathe. I forgot what it was like to just be.

But I'm back and just being... awesome of course. =)

"Don't wait around for other people

to be happy for you. Any happiness

you get, you've got to make yourself."

- Alice Walker