NinetyOne.

I thought this was my blog?

Apparently I can't write whatever I want on my blog without someone getting upset. Oh well. Last time I checked no one is forcing anyone to come here and read what I think or how I feel. And if you do find yourself here, and you have something to say about my blog, I'd really appreciate it if you said it to my face instead of twisting things around behind my back to make me look bad at a time when I'm not available defend myself.

But my mistake, I was under the impression that everyone was entitled to their own opinions and that here in America there was this thing called freedom of speech. Obviously I'm wrong though, because I'm always wrong, and you're always right. What was I thinking?

I'm so sick and tired of people. In general.

As a general statement, I'm just tired of people.

Everyone who knows me, knows exactly who I am. I don't have anything to hide, and that's why my blog is public. Whoever wants to read it can do as they please because I am not a liar and I am not fake. More often than not I'm too honest. I know how to take responsibility for the things I do wrong, and I also know how to apologize, but I refuse to apologize for anything I write here. I will never be sorry for my opinions and I will never be sorry for saying how I feel, nor will I ever be ashamed or let anyone make me feel bad for any of the things on my blog.

If you feel like something on here is about you, or even if you know it's about you, maybe you should take a step back and look at yourself. There had to be a reason why I wrote that blog. If you do something that upsets me, I'm probably going to write about it. That doesn't mean I'm badmouthing you, or bashing you, or what-have-you because I never use people's names. It simply means that I'm upset and this is how I vent.

If that upsets you so much, maybe you should think before you act. Maybe, and I'm just going out on a limb here, maybe you shouldn't do bad things in the first place. And maybe you're hurt that I wrote about you on here, (without pointing fingers or labeling anything with names) and I get it. I outed you and now people can see that you're not a nice person. And for once you get to see how other people see you in print, and it just so happens that on paper, you're not so perfect.

The only reason I would write

about you is because you hurt me.

Goodness,

the truth sure does hurt...

Doesn't it?

Ninety.

Liars...

They think they can get away with everything. There's always an excuse, always an answer. There's always a reason why they couldn't go, or why they didn't call, or why they didn't bother to tell you that they weren't coming on a vacation that you've been planning since March even though they knew they weren't coming for a month.

Aside from the fact that that's incredibly selfish-as someone else could have had that spot and gone on the vacation of a lifetime-it's also very hypocritical and non-Christian like to lie and be deceitful.

What else is non-Born Again Christian like?

Well, I wouldn't know because I'm not crazy, but I imagine these things would be on that list, if there is one... somewhere.

1. Telling someone you'll come see them in the hospital when they have heart surgery, and then just not showing up or calling to see if they're OK.
2. Telling someone you have a birthday gift for them, but you forgot it at home... for nearly two months.
3. Telling someone you'll come and hangout and meet a group of people that you're supposed to go on vacation with multiple times, but then lying multiple times and never showing up.
4. Sending someone a long apology note (a week late) asking for forgiveness and saying how you're going to change and be a better friend, only to be a worse person afterwards.
5. Completely changing who you are every time you get into a relationship.
6. Pretending to be someone's friend.

Now, I think I've been a pretty good friend. I've been there through two bad breakups, 2 or 3 deployments, twice when she needed a job, countless road-trips to North Carolina which cost me time and money that I didn't always have just so she wouldn't have to go alone, and pretty much any time she needed me. And every time she's done what she's doing now, I've forgiven her (which is very Christian like, just saying) because I thought we were friends. This time though, it's gotten to a point where my real friends, my boyfriend, and even my mother are mad and angry with the way I've been treated.

I love them a lot more than I could ever love someone who has taken me for granted. This is the end of a long chapter. (If you're reading this, please don't send me another bullshit apology letter that you and I both know doesn't mean anything.)

So, in conclusion, I don't need anyone in my life who is going to be selfish, inconsiderate, full of themselves, untruthful, and willing to throw a six-year friendship out the window.

(*On a side note, I don't have anything against any religion at all. What I do have a problem with is someone only becoming interested in a certain religion because the person they're dating said that they wouldn't date you unless you were the same religion as them.)

EightyNine.

Oh, life...

Sometimes the path you want to take, and the path you end up taking are completely different. They may run parallel, and they may even cross at times, but it's never what you thought it would be... and that's not always a bad thing.

Life happens, and it takes you where you need to be. It's full of decisions and choices and by making each, you map out your own journey. Sometimes it's disappointing, sometimes it's not what you thought it'd be, but it's always worth it.

You just have to remember that not everything works out, and there's a perfectly good reason for that. When something goes wrong, there's something better that will go right. Be patient. Keep an open mind. Stay positive.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason.

People change so that you can learn to let go,

Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right.

You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself.

And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

— Marilyn Monroe