Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes

Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes, but I'll work it out...

Sunday, May 30, 2010


Something that upsets me...

I hate the feeling you get when you do so much for someone and they don't even appreciate it. You go out of your way for someone and it's almost like they expect you to do it so it doesn't even matter. Why even bother anymore? That annoys me more than most things. If I'm going to do something nice for you, at least say thank you. I'm not saying run out and get me something, not at all. Just acknowledge it.

Is that really asking for too much?

I don't think so.

I never expect anything. I never expect anyone to buy me anything, or take me places, or do anything for me. That's just not who I am. However, I do like to do things for the people I care about. That's not saying please do something for me because I did something for you. It's just me doing it because it makes me feel good to cheer you up, or make you have a better day, or whatever.

All I'm saying is, it's nice to be appreciated.

That's all.

Sunday, May 23, 2010


I realized something today...

I've changed. I know everyone changes, and recently I've touched on the fact that I've changed and become a better person, stronger, smarter, but really... I've completely changed.

The things I used to think I wanted, well they're not the same things I want now.

How did I come to that conclusion?

Because getting what you want doesn't always feel as good as you thought it would.

It's like imagining the perfect ending, and then after its over realizing it wasn't so perfect after all. I'm conflicted because while everything is good, everything is bad. I feel like I'm going to get tired of the current situation very quickly and it worries me because this happens all the time. I want something really bad, I get it, and before I know it I'm already over it.

I guess time will tell..

Saturday, May 15, 2010


I'm generally a nice person...

For the most part, I'm a nice person. Normally I wouldn't admit this but, lets put that aside for the time being.

Like I was saying, I'm a pretty nice person, that is until you wrong my family, my friends, or anyone else I care about. I'm not going to sit here and let you say horrible things about someone I love and not do anything about it. I'm not going to just listen to you badmouth someone who means a lot to me. I'm not that person. I know it's surprising because I can also be very quiet at times, but that doesn't mean I'm not listening.

My cousin told me last night that I was a silent wealth of knowledge. I laughed a little, but it's true. I may not say a lot in certain situations, but I know what's going on. I hear everything you're saying and even somethings you're not. So, the next time you think I'm not paying attention you should take a second and really think about that.

And most importantly, if you make my mom cry, you're dead to me. You don't exist, you're worthless, and you're a coward. I won't go out of my way to make you feel that way, but I won't go out of my way to be nice either. My mom raised me better than to be disrespectful or spiteful. And if it wasn't for her, well I don't know who I'd be.

I love her enough to be the better person, and you should be grateful for that.

The end.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010



I finally have something bothering me. I tried to not let it but it does, and badly. I don't understand why people feel it's necessary to take more than they deserve. Why can't people just be content with that they're given?

I like to think that I'm a nice person, and I try really hard not to... discriminate or judge anyone (seriously, when I'm joking around that's different) but I've come to a point where I just don't care anymore. I don't care if I hurt someone's feelings. I don't care if I make them cry. I don't care if they never talk to me again. For all I care, I could never cross their mind again.

The amount of stress that a certain someone causes me is ridiculous and uncalled for, and unnecessary. And I'm done.

Enough is enough.

"Letting go of people isn't saying I hate you. It's just saying I love me."- Rev. Run

Sunday, May 9, 2010



I've hit over a thousand views. Granted they're probably mostly from the same ten people, but it feels good. Almost like an accomplishment. I guess people really are listening.

So let's see...

I've been finding it hard to come up with good topics to write about. Usually they stem from being angry or annoyed, or bothered by something... but lately I've just been happy. Like really happy. Crappy job and all. Aside from the usual rants about one of my co-workers, I have nothing to complain about. It's a good feeling, but not that great for business, if you know what I'm saying.

I've met someone, not really recently, but no matter what goes wrong or what bothers me or whatever the case may be, he sees the bright side of it. With everything really... He's my own personal ray of sunshine, and with that I find it hard to really get upset about anything. Everyone should get one ;).

What else...

We're down to one-hundred and sixty days until my vacation to paradise with some of the greatest people I know. I really can't wait to get on the plane and be gone for a whole week with my friends, cut off from the rest of the world. Just relaxing on the beach with a beverage. Bliss.

But who's counting?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010



Everyone's so busy making plans that they don't realize how much life they're throwing away. Too much time is spent trying to make things be perfect. Nothing is ever perfect. I don't even know why that word exists. Plus, who wants to be perfect? Flaws are what make people beautiful. They make us different and unique.

Anyway, I'm not saying all plans are bad. It's nice to have things to look forward to. I'm just saying, don't let your life pass you by while you've got your nose stuck in a calendar.

"Contemplation often makes life miserable.
We should act more, think less,
and stop watching ourselves live."

And while you're living, make sure you really live. You only live once, so make sure you do everything. Find the time. If it's something you want, you'll make it happen.

Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway. -Steven Coallier

Saturday, May 1, 2010


It's been a while...

I've been busy, and to be completely honest I forgot about this blog for a while. I guess not too much has been happening for me to come report it all.

I don't even know what to talk about now...

I guess the last few weeks have been kind of rough. Not terribly, just not as smooth as usual. I suppose that's normal though. Life can be unpredictable at times.

I have some new people in my life... and some old ones are back. One in particular makes me feel so stupid because whenever he's around I feel like I can't breath. I hate that. It's been forever since I've really liked someone. Sure, I've had simple crushes here and there but it's not the same. I'm not a fan of feeling vulnerable, or like an idiot because feelings make you do dumb things. And of course I won't ever say anything because I'm too shy. I know, I know... I don't seem shy but there are certain things that make me kind of shut down.

I ran into a really old friend the other day and that was really great because I had just been thinking about her. She kind of fell off of the face of the earth a few years ago, and no one had heard from her.

Hmm... There's one-hundred and sixty-eight days until I go on the best vacation of my entire life with some of the most awesome people around. Aruba and Venezuela <3.

I guess that's it for now. I'll try to have something more interesting for next time.