Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes

Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes, but I'll work it out...

Tuesday, July 27, 2010



I'll never understand some people. The way they think, the way they act. How quickly they change their tune due to certain things. How they think certain things are just

It's not OK to lie to people to pacify them. It's not OK to tell people you're going to do something just to appease them when you have no intentions of following through on whatever it is. It's not OK to tell someone you'll be there for them when you'd really just ditch them when something better came along. None of that is OK.

I'd rather you tell me the truth and let me be disappointed,

than you lie to me and make me not trust you.

At first I was annoyed, and I was upset, but at this point I just don't care.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times... well, three strikes and you're out.

After so many lies, and being blown off on a regular basis, there's no coming back. The trust is gone, the respect is gone, and there's just nothing there.

It really sucks when you can't count the
number of times that you've been there for
someone on both hands, but you can count the
times they've been there for you on less than one.

Sunday, July 25, 2010



Death is never fair. It doesn't fight clean, it never plays even, it comes too soon, and it never calls to let you know it's on it's way. It's not biased, it doesn't think twice about age, it's colorblind, and it doesn't care who it hurts.

When someone dies, everyone hurts. Of course that persons family feels the most pain, but the people who care about the family also feel it. It's never easy watching someone (or a family) that you care about hurt so much without there being something you can do. If you could, you'd turn back time and change whatever you could so that they'd be spared from that pain for even a minute longer, but you can't. There's absolutely nothing you can do. It's one of the only situations where it doesn't matter what you do or what you say, because nothing makes that moment easier... except for time.

So what do you do? The only thing you can do is be there for them and be strong because when they're falling apart, you need to catch those pieces before they shatter on the ground and put them back together. That's when they need you the most.
R.I.P. Uncle Ray <3
July 21st, 2010.

"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through, and shines down upon us to let us know they're happy." - Eskimo Proverb.

Thursday, July 15, 2010



You can wake up in the morning and decide to be happy and make the most of your day, or you can wake up and decide to be a miserable bitch. It's your call. I promise you though, things will be a lot harder if you decide to be miserable.

Things don't always go your way, and they never will. You win some and you lose some. It's called life, maybe you've heard of it?

I feel like lately things keep piling up in front of me and it's only a matter of time before everything comes tumbling down. And of course, with papers flying all over the place, I'll become overwhelmed... but I digress.

Instead of letting things get me down, or letting things make me feel like I'm losing control, I've decided to organize my life and everything in it. I can't let the possibility of heart surgery keep me down when it's not set in stone. And even if it should happen, I wasn't worried the first time, so why waste time now? Whatever is going to happen, is going to happen, whether I think too much or too little about it.

So when you ask me if I'm nervous, I'm going to say no. I'm not going to let myself get hung up on something that may or may not happen. There are too many good things going on that I'd be missing out on if I spent my time agonizing over things that are inevitable or mere possibilities.

(I don't know about you, but I'd rather spend my time thinking about more important things... like Aruba ;) )

... and after all, this is just one more at bat.
I've had plenty of curve balls thrown at me in my life.
There's no reason I can't hit this one out of the park too.

Thursday, July 8, 2010



Sure, I've got dreams. They're not, nor have they ever been 'normal' or like other kids' dreams, but I've got dreams.

When I was a little kid I never wanted to be a doctor, a firefighter, a princess, or a ballerina. I wanted to be an architect. I played with Lincoln Logs and K*nex more than I played with dolls. I was never really into the whole hair and makeup thing, and I'm still not. That's just not who I am.

Of course, all adolescent dreams fade away and the reality that you won't magically become royalty (
or a crime fighting superhero ninja) sets in.

But you still have dreams. That's the good thing about dreams. They are forever changing to fit your needs, and they're free. You can have as many as you want without being greedy.

When I was a teenager I was set on opening my own restaurant. I still would like to at some point in my life, but it's not on the top of my list anymore.

When I went to college, I went for business. Looking back on that now, I could have picked a better major. But, at 18, how many people really know what they want to be when they '
grow up'?

Now, I'm 23, and I'm starting over. Everything is new. New goals, new life, new adventures, new me, new dreams. I've finally realized that it's really not how long it takes you to get somewhere that matters. It's getting back in the car after it's broken down more times than you can count, and changing that same flat tire for the fifth time, and doing whatever it takes to get to your destination that counts.

You have your whole life to make mistakes and your whole life to be successful. It's healthy to have a mix of both. It'll keep you humble and give you wisdom that you can't learn in the two, four, six, or eight years that you spend working toward whichever dream you're after.

For right now, my only dream is to live. Wherever life takes me, I'm okay with it. It's much harder to fight against things you have absolutely no control over than it is to make the best of what you've got.

You're either busy living, or you're busy dying.

Get busy living. ;)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, July 5, 2010



It's more fragile than glass. More valuable than gold. More rare than the rarest diamond.

If you break a glass, you have eleven more from the same set. If you lose a gold bar, more can be made. If you give a diamond away, you can purchase another.

Trust though, in most cases, is a one time deal. If you lose it, it's gone. And you can spend the rest of your life trying to get it back only to never truly regain it.

Sure, you can patch up the holes, but that's just it. There will still be some spots that you just can't cover up. And while you may have mended that relationship, that other person will alway be wondering-in the back of their minds-if you're telling the truth or not.

So, tell the truth and let that person be disappointed in you instead of lying to them and having them never be able to fully trust you again.

I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.-Friedrich Nietzsche.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

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