Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes

Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes, but I'll work it out...

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


Random Collection of Thoughts...

This post isn't going to just have one topic, and it very well may not make sense, but at lease I'll know what I'm talking about.

I'm starting to hate my job.

Ok, clearly that's a lie because I've hated it for a while now. It's exhausting. I feel like they take advantage of me because I'm the only one competent enough to do anything (besides the new Amanda, she's catching on quickly, thank god.) Everyone expects me to drop what I'm doing to help them, but the second I need any kind of assistance they're too busy. It's ridiculous. And when someone doesn't feel like doing it, it gets dumped on my desk.
Lately, I've just been saying I'm too busy, or that's not my job because I'm just not doing it.
I can't wait til the change and I become the office manager and I can just do whatever I want whenever I want.

My job is also slightly depressing. I've been there a year and a lot of the patients that I was used to seeing on a regular (3 month) basis have passed away. It's a small office so you become familiar with the patients pretty quickly. Most of the patients are pretty old too, so once you realize you haven't seen someone in a while, you also realize what must have happened.

What's the worst part? It makes you realize that life's shorter than you thought it was. One little old couple was planning a trip to Asia, and a week later the wife was planning the husbands funeral. You never know when your time is going to come. And we should all be so lucky as to be in love for 50+ years like they were.

People really are selfish.

No matter how good some people claim to be, they're really only looking out for themselves. I can appreciate you taking care of yourself first, somebody has to do it-but if you're going to be a bitch, or an asshole... then be a bitch or an asshole. And if that's the case, then own up to it. If you're going to be one behind my back, then I can't respect you.
I like to think I'm not selfish. Actually, I know that I'm not. I go out of my way for people all of the time. I'm getting really tired of it too because no one appreciates it.
Recently I went out of my way to get someone a job. At first I told them it probably wasn't for them, and the hours were long, and it was a lot to learn. They didn't care, and wanted to get an interview anyway. I did what I could, they got the interview, they worked one day, and then they quit.
Really? Way to waste my time training you, and then make me look bad. Way to go.

I don't know why so many people love me.

I mean, yes I am awesome. I know that, but that's not what I mean.
It's uncomfortable sometimes. It's flattering, don't get me wrong, but when it happens relatively often it's weird. I don't know why it happens, just the way I don't know why everything happens to me.
It's actually scary when you've only known someone for two months and they tell you that they love you... and then they become a stalker... Ok, well, that was an isolated incident, but still. Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is, try not to fall in love with me ;)

I suppose that's all for now.

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