Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes

Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes, but I'll work it out...

Thursday, December 17, 2009


(June 23, 2009)

"It gets better."

That's one of the things I hate hearing the most. Does it get better? Really? When? Do you have any idea what I need to get better? Do you even know me?

Don't tell me it gets better unless you can also provide a date and time that this will actually occur.

I like to think I'm a good person and that eventually it
will get better, but I'm not holding my breath. We all know how that will end up with my luck anyway.


Everyone feels pain. People can claim to be numb or cut off from the world, emotionless or even just not care, but they still feel pain. It's unavoidable. It's like an infection, and it has many ways to get in. Mental, Emotional, Physical.

Some people say pain is 'temporary' or 'weakness leaving the body' or pain can 'be replaced by other emotions'.

What do you tell one of the strongest people you've ever met while they're morning the loss of their wife?
'It gets better', 'It'll make you stronger', and 'Find something to take your mind off of it' aren't things that come to mind.

Seeing someone cry for the first time, when you thought they were almost incapable of tears is heartbreaking.

I think, if I had to choose, I'd want physical pain over any other kind. Emotional pain just cuts away at you until you can't take it. Like being cheated on or some other traumatic experience like rape. No matter what you do you'll always remember what happened to you, even when you learn to control the thoughts and the time travel your mind creates. They don't call it
'scarred for life' for no reason.

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. -- Buddha

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